Saturday, 24 December 2016

ABADID 24...last year's Christmas Eve...


This year facebook has been posting 'memories' on our pages for us to see, read, look at and decide whether to share or not. A lot of these posts I ignore. But the post below struck a chord with me. This day three years ago friends, like me this Christmas, were experiencing the grief of losing someone close. And I was experiencing the tumult of a changing lifestyle for me and my little family. 


If you've read my blogs recently you'll be aware I lost my sister last month. And grief rises and falls like the waves of a turbulent sea before it eventually calms. I thought I was over the worst of the tears but last night it just hit me again. There was no post from her, no newsy letter or Christmas card with the year written in the top corner, no long chatty phone call. Just a big deep hole where she had been. And then today I read this old fb post...

Christmas Eve 2013...
It's been a strange Xmas this year (tree still not up)...
This Christmas season I've been to the ADF GIFT preview at the Gallery and had a glass of hot port while chatting to old and new faces there and surrounded by wonderful creativity on display...and went to a close friend's Solstice evening where seven of us brought food to share, enjoying a glass or two of yuletide punch and swapping stories and wishes around the fire...marking the end of another year and planning new things for the next...
Earlier this Xmas Eve I've spent some time with a friend, Harry's godfather, who's spending his last moments in the hospital at the ripe old age of 92 with his daughter by his side...and another friend is going home to be close to her dad who's also very ill in hospital and not expected to recover...life winks out and yet life continues...
It's been a year of activity in my little family having de-registered Harry from school to home educate, allowing him to have the freedom to learn in the style of his choice and demanding I learn about educational legislation and make contact with a politician to fight off BELB's ultra vires demands (very pro-active for us)...and my beginning CBT to have a practical tool to cope and continue with both tiny and seemingly insurmountable obstacles...because we fight and survive from a place where we believe that life can indeed be good...
To all of you who celebrate Christmas, Xmas, Solstice, Yuletide or simply celebrate another day of life and what it brings...may the last days of 2013 be good and may 2014 be better xx

Life can indeed be good...

Grief is a natural process and in its crazy swinging from one extreme of emotion to another we heal. Slowly that pendulumic swinging slows until we find ourselves, after a time, in a calm place where our emotions have settled and our memories are clear and without pain. That calm place is where I'm headed.


Tonight I'll be filling my son's Christmas stocking (yes, he's 18), make some mince pies and watch Elf which is always a good source of laughter. We'll each open a single present, something that's become tradition for us. And tomorrow we'll enjoy a good meal and look at our gifts and watch some more films. Maybe I'll start that new book. 

Life can indeed be good...




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